What people are saying…

“This book is a treasure. I devoured every word of it.”

—Dan Beach, former PBS Producer

“An extraordinary journey. Fascinating. Touching. Funny. Don’t miss it. This is a sharp, beautifully-written book about the happy-sad-frightening-lucky-unlucky discoveries we make about ourselves as we grow up… Akstens offers stunning insight into the transgender experience, and also gives us the humor and emotion of all aspects of a life well lived.”

—Richard DiLallo, co-author of the #1 NY Times bestseller Alex Cross’s Trail

“What we want in a memoir is all here: self-awareness, wisdom, wit and lessons learned—and a catfish swimming in the bathtub. Without Shame is entertaining, insightful and always approachable. Highly recommended.”

—Elizabeth Folwell, former editor of Adirondack Life and author of Short Carries

“Ribald, funny and learned…A fresh and bracingly honest tale that goes down as easily as a cold beer on a hot day.”

—Peter Kaminsky, author of American Waters, The Elements of Taste and How to Dress an Egg

“What makes this particular stew work is the sheer quality of Akstens’ writing, which flows naturally, never overexerting itself or overstaying its welcome. Younger people today may find it easier to shift gears; to explore the fluid avenues between gender, byways that, in the past, we didn’t even know existed.  Authors—pioneers—like Akstens help lead the way. They throw the ball of lightning in the air, and in that eerie, primordial glow, we can glimpse the road ahead.”

—The Albany Times Union.

“We hosted Connelly at the Cranston Public Library for an author talk and book signing. Connelly was witty, poised and thoughtful. She really connected with her audience, particularly with the beautiful readings from her warm, funny and engaging book, Without Shame: Learning to Be Me. She brought a genuine sense of hopefulness and affirmation to the cause of transgender education. Connelly is one of a kind. It was an event I won’t soon forget. I encourage everyone to read this book—and arrange a reading at your library, independent bookstore, book club or community organization.”

—Zach Berger, Cranston (RI) Public Library.

“An excellent book...unlike any other transgender book I have read--it's the transgender book I wish I had written.”

—Femulate.org

“I loved this warm-hearted, moving, episodic memoir of a rich and varied life. It’s erudite, funny, beautifully written and filled with arcane knowledge about history, sailing, fly fishing, folk music, philosophy, basketball, and where to find the best meals on the many roads Connelly has traveled, from Cape Cod to Paris. Most of all, Without Shame is a journey of self-discovery and an honest coming to terms with the previously hidden parts of the person Connelly has always been. It’s a brave and highly readable account of one person’s struggles and eventual self-affirmation. Highly recommended.

—Happy Traum

“Connelly Akstens’ creative memoir is superbly rendered, dramatic and centered on moving beyond shame. Shame is a formative emotion, yet the full face of this book smiles. This narrative is bold, forgiving and generous to its readers. It contains a full range of emotions of a person gifted at writing, devoted to observation—and deeply heartfelt.”

—Bruce Piasecki, NY Times best-selling author of Missing Persons and
In Search of Environmental Excellence

“Intimate, bold, relevant to our time and funny as hell.”

—The Players Newsletter

“Without Shame is a beautifully written, amusing and perceptive memoir of a highly unusual life journey, recounted with singularly sly wit. At the end of this delightful read, Miranda’s exclamation in Shakespeare’s The Tempest came to mind: ‘Oh brave new world that has such people in it!’” 

—Richard Ferrone, actor

“Connelly Akstens has written about what is funny, absurd, painful and challenging in a long life with a secret at the center of it. Leaving shame behind, she is now openly talking and writing about what it has been like to be unseen and unknown. With humanity, humor, and grace Connelly invites us, both in her book and in her public readings, to think about the ways we ourselves harbor shame and are misunderstood. Connelly’s work encourages us to be honest with ourselves and curious and authentic with each other”

—Elaine Handley, SUNY Distinguished Professor of Writing and Poetry

“I have known Connelly Akstens for a very long time. In those years, I have come to know her as a gifted teacher, musician, performer, friend. Students would tell me that Connelly was more than an outstanding teacher; they said she changed their lives.  Changed. Their. Lives. When I recently went to hear Connelly read from her book Without Shame: Learning to Be Me I understood what those students meant. Her performance was mesmerizing: warm, engaging, honest.  Connelly has an ability to connect with the audience by making herself completely vulnerable and utterly trustworthy. When she spoke about her former students, my table companion had tears in her eyes. She’s that good.”

—Meg Woolbright, Professor Emerita of Writing and Literature, Siena College

We had Connelly join us as part of our work with Newport Out, an LGBTQ+ community building organization in Newport, Rhode Island. We had selected Connelly's memoir Without Shame: Learning to Be Me as our first book to read with our group. We were delighted… I appreciated Connelly's ability to not just answer questions, but to facilitate a meaningful discussion and back-and-forth with the audience, as well as her vulnerability in sharing. We're also now considering engaging Connelly to lead a memoir writing workshop later this year. Thank you, Connelly, for encouraging others to share their story.

—Sean O’Connor, Director, NewportOut

“Connelly Aksten’s book Without Shame: Learning to Be Me covers a difficult, yet timely topic – growing up transgender.  Yet Connelly’s storytelling ability, sense of humor, and compelling personal history are guaranteed to win over readers and listeners, as they did during the appearance before our club.  Connelly touches hearts and, at the same time, makes you smile.”

—Stephen Hug, President, Providence (RI) Rotary Club

“Connelly Akstens visited Norman Williams Public Library in Woodstock, Vermont and gave us an engaging talk on her life journey. She focuses on the positive rather than the challenges of her path and tells her story with humor, making for an informative and enjoyable evening.”

—Liza Bernard, Programming Librarian, Nroman Williams Library